You know you’ve played too much poker when…
Supposing you know, or living with, a Star Trek fan (mercifully that person will notwalk around in uniform), who must embed his speech constantly with “logic dictates,” “phasers on…” or, when upset, bellow: “kaaaaaaaahhn!”
Of course, when you’ve become deeply involved in something, especially poker, you may “absorb” traits, mannerism, lingo, etc. that may have an effect, without you even noticing it, on your day-to-day life. So, you know you’ve played too much poker when…
You unlock your phone and click on the Dragonplay poker icon to make a call
You clean up after dinner in a hurry because it’s a “fast fold” table
You’ve added the mailman, the utility man and the TV repairman to your friends list to increase your daily bonus
You had out visitors poker tips
When you go to the bar for Happy Hour, you’re disappointed they don’t offer poker chips
You’re at the grocery and think how many blinds/bets your basket is going to cost you
You’re in the car ready to go somewhere; you say “I’m all in.”
Each person that calls you in a middle of a game is a donk.
You replaced the word two in your vocabulary by the word deuce.
Your wife cheers when you get knocked of a tournament, so you can help around the house
You resist your girlfriend’s advances because you’re the chip leader in a Sit N’ Go tournament.
Guests arrive for dinner, and you sit at the table with sunglasses and an iPod
Someone asks you to bring paint and you ask if they prefer a Jack, Queen, or King
Your spouse asks you to rake the backyard and you ask how much.
Someone asks you a question and you request a time bank.
You’re looking for a pair of socks and wonder if you’ve got three of a kind
Someone asks how your day was and you say, “level.”
You give commentary to your own gameplay like you’re making your own video for YouTube.
A cop pulls you over for speeding and you blame it on variance.
You count like this: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Jack, Queen, King, Ace..
You’ve taken your mobile into the bathroom so you don’t have to sit out any hands.
You can’t complete a sentence without at least one of the following: that’s sick, on tilt, donk, standard.
Anytime you eat fish you have the urge to play poker
The following are part of almost every sentence you make: Fish, Shark, that’s sick, on tilt, standard, donkey, donk, ship it.
When you go to dinner and the bill arrives, you tell the waiter, “I call.”
When you go into a bakery every morning and ask for freerolls.
When you yell real loud to the pizza guy “the door is open and the money is on the counter.