Types of Poker Players

You know when you go out to dinner at a restaurant, you can almost always spot the types: the “sophisticated,” the “classy,” the “not-classy,” the “easily-get-drunk-type?” same with poker players: at the table, you have a variety of personalities and types that can affect the game and, if you can keep cool enough, take advantage of.

What type of player are you…?

–       “Where do I sit?” “Is it ok to look at my cards now?”  The Newbie

The newbie is very obvious to spot. By the way he/she constantly glances at the cards, hesitating before being called to play (“my turn?”), nearly always drinking, and the constant ‘feeling’ of the chips.

–       ‘So, like, if I get two Aces, I can’t split them, right?’  The Fish

A fish is a player who doesn’t really know how to play poker very well. An inexperienced or unskilled player, especially such a player who loses significant amounts of money; live one. One telltale of a fish is the preflop all-in move. Used on rare occasion this move can be very effective; used on a regular basis it’s a sure sign the player is a fish. Other fish ‘tells’ include who consistently limp in under the gun and then call a raise only to check and fold to any bet on the flop

–       “Bet or raise? I think I’ll call. Again. And again. And again’ The Calling Station

A Calling Station refers to a player who consistently calls bets and hardly raises, regardless of the strength of his hand. Calling stations are sometimes get lucky with the cards that come on the board, encouraging unskilled players to overestimate their skill level and therefore, even though they won a hand in the short term, in the longer term they will get into trouble

This is the player who plays K5 suited and can’t lay down the K when it hits, no matter how many people are in the pot. They play any two suited cards, and any Ace, and can’t fold any of them if they hit a flop. They whine constantly about being out-kicked, and can’t understand why they have such “bad luck.”

“I don’t give a rat’s patootie what he played, I’m re-raising! And re-raising again!”  The Maniac

The maniac is a player who plays hands and usually bets, raises, or re-raises in large amounts, regardless of the expected value; he is as loose and aggressive as can be.

‘Maniacs’ who play in low-stakes games may not have very much knowledge about strategy or game theory, or don’t really care about all that stuff. They play a hyper aggressive, sometimes erratic, style of poker.

–       ‘Hey, Sam, long time no steal your blinds’  The “Regular”

The Regular is just that – the guy you regularly see at the poker table. He plays frequently, everybody knows him. He probably even has a nickname – “The Wiz,” “The Shooter,” or something like that.

–       ‘Hey, how come he gets all the good cards? The Complainer

This is the kind of player that, instead of on the game, focuses, bitches and moans about a wide variety of things, from the “bad” lighting of the table to the hands they’re dealt, how unlucky he is, agonizes over missed flops or being sucked out by a donk on the river.

–       So I acted up, three-betting post-flop. I could tell he was looking for a backraise so I went all-in with my full boat  The wannabee-pro

The wannabee ‘pro’ will always spout the poker lingo, even if it has no direct link to the play going on at the moment. He’ll lean over and explain something esoteric, or bring up an old anecdote from another game, which most of the players probably heard five or six times before. The wannabee pro is dressed for the occasion: baseball cap, sunglasses, gold chain.

–       ‘If you’d stop talking so much and started paying attention to the cards, maybe I’d beat you  only seven times out of ten’  The Semi-Pro

Similar to a wannabee-pro, but unlike the latter, really knows what he’s doing – plus he doesn’t chatter needlessly as much.

–       ‘If you look around the table and don’t find the sucker – it’s you’  The Pro

‘Nough said. Do you really want to play with a pro? you should do so for two reasons only: a) you are willing to lose your shirt b) he’s a particularly entertaining player and makes it worthwhile for you to lose your shirt.

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